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#EndlessSummerEndlessFun: 2022 CPL Season Recap

Written by Biko, Don’t Cry Because It’s Over, Smile Because It Happened, Skalla:

 

I’m not sure there is a greater truth in our world than the fact that time flies when you’re having fun. Another insanely wild, whacky, and entertaining summer in Bananaland is in the books and I feel like just a few days ago the professional World Tour team was playing the college guys in Banana Ball, passing the torch from the men of spring to the boys of summer. And what a summer our boys have had.

For the second year in a row the CPL West went through Savannah, with the Bananas winning the first and second halves in dominating fashion. After posting one of the best overall records in league history and taking home a Pettit Cup with the veteran filled 2021 team, Tyler Gillum and company compiled a much younger squad that didn’t have the Bananaland experience of their predecessors but were hungry and more than happy to buy into everything it takes to excel in the madhouse that is Historic Grayson Stadium. It led to another juggernaut in Southwest Georgia as the Nanners combined their speed, aggressiveness on the bases, great bat to ball skills, a knack for coming up clutch, and another top tier pitching staff in the league to steamroll their way to a second-straight CPL Championship.

It’s a testament to the superb coach that Gillum is and how dynamite his assistants Errick Fox, Corey Pye, Adam Moreau, Tyle Hankins, and Reginald Horton are, that the Bananas can juggle being a team that requests FAR more from its players entertainment wise than any other in the country and can continue to destroy opponents on the baseball side of the operation as well. So as my good friend Tay Zonday is known to say quite often on Intentional Talk: “Let’s go back in time!,” and take a look at not all of the memorable moments that made this summer so magical because that would take at least a week to read/watch, but at least the crème de la crème of another absurdly fun summer in Savannah.

No better place to start than the true passing of the torch from our World Tour fellas to the college guys with the teaching of the “Let’s Groove” dance…

That one truly warmed my heart. While we’re at it let’s tug on the ole’ heart strings a tad more…

With 2021 CPL Championship rings on the fingers of all the guys in attendance who helped bring the Petitt Cup to Savannah for the second time in franchise history, we were ready to play Banana Ball! I promise the updates will be much fewer and further between once we get into the season, but it’s just mind boggling to see Kyle throw a ball behind Armando Becerra and then watch Mando spray a shot the other way…

This was some serious foreshadowing of the excellent summer Mando was about to have, and the “Good piece, atta boy” from Mr. Luigs on the mic just ties the whole thing together so well.

I think now’s as good a time as ever to see a tale of two catches from this game as Ty makes a Web Gem worthy snag and Jacob Teston makes a… well… he also caught a baseball…

@thesavbananas

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about #savannahbananas #baseball #mlb #fail #fypシ #viral

♬ original sound –

Not all F-9’s are built the same.

Here’s a classic case of a picture’s worth a thousand words for ya…

Hang that in the Louvre.

And last but not least from Banana Fest, find me a better Harlem Shake, I’ll wait…

Okay let’s get our tushes to Opening Day what do you say. I personally had just as much fun reliving the unique entrances for every player as I did just getting to see what the starting lineup was and how so many phenomenal Bananas were introduced to Nanners Nation…

What a murderers row! Now it’s tough to pinpoint the exact time that we all fell in love with Beau Brewer in Bananaland, and while that tiny little puff he got from his smoke thingy in the Opening Day entrance was comical enough, I think the future New York Yankees draftee truly got off on a great foot when he absolutely nailed this walkup to the dish…

@thesavbananas

#duet with @beerfarts209 We’re all still little leaguers at heart 🤷‍♂️ @Beau Brewer #savannahbananas #baseball #mlb #littleleague #fypシ #viral

♬ original sound – Monstie

What a performance by both parties involved.

The first hit and run scored of the summer were both indicators of more great things to come. First, third-year Banana Drew Yniesta while on the mic with Kyle and I finishes a heck of an at-bat with a double and on the next pitch Indiana Stanley does the same…

A key part of the offense would of course be the Bananas going on to lead the CPL in stolen bases for the fourth time in Gillum’s fifth year at the helm, and the bag swiping barrage on the league begun with this mother of all steals from none other than our guy Drew…

Drew quite simply is THAT guy.

Speaking of THAT guy, the introduction of Tyler Bradt to Bananaland was a pretty decent one, as all he did was set the team-record for most strikeouts in a row in a debut, edging out Bananas legend Dylan Cunningham who had five straight in 2021…

ALRIGHT! Pick it up Biko you can’t show us five videos from every game this summer, man!

I hear you. You are heard. I will pick it up from here. But it was Opening Day! The nostalgia is taking me over and I just can’t help it. Also… Jared Donalson (3 IP), Leighton Finley (1 IP), Tyler Bradt (2 IP), Gage Voorhees (2 IP), and Dylan Cunningham (1 IP) combined to throw the first of the Bananas league-leading five shutouts of the regular season. Good stuff, let’s put it into light speed now Chewie!

The fellas got a day off after Opening Day (well deserved, as per usual) and then welcomed the Bacon into town for the first of 18 matchups on the summer (all that was scheduled for the regular season at least…) I just can’t help myself, I just can’t, you’ve gotta see Drew going first to home on a SINGLE from Beau to kickoff what would be another utterly dominant summer for the Nanners over the only CPL team they share Georgia with…

Green Light Special baby, what a beautiful thing to behold.

Alrighty I think I can get away with just one more highlight from May 28th because Indy hit his first of his league leading four triples on the summer and also the caption on this tweet is a gazillion out of a gazillion…

Dude simply loves hitting triples and I don’t blame him. I would too if I was that good at hitting baseballs and also that fast.

Oh snap we’re actually not done with the Indiana highlight show because he also made a play so insane it got nominated for a Best Defensive Play Splitsie Award…

Literally what in tarnation. I stand by my statement in the moment – I’ve never seen a catcher make a play like that in my life.

Let’s take a quick gander at how our pals on the Tik and the Tok saw this one…

@thesavbananas

Good baseball is fun baseball ‼️ #savannahbananas #baseball #mlb #fypシ #viral #baseballboys #baseballlife #summervibes

♬ Happy frog has a mango on a fork – ★ xsuyuu ★

Example number infinity (stay away from me with that infinity isn’t a number nonsense, I haven’t taken math since high school this isn’t what we’re here for) of our Marketing Team being content geniuses. It feels like it was yesterday when this was slapped together by Savanah in the office and put up against another sound as a possibility. Crazy!

Also Blake McGehee got a strikeout on the next pitch to end the ballgame. Bananas 2-0.

OKAY OKAY OKAY, truly strap in because we jump into light speed starting NOW!

All the way to from May 28th to June 1st because I simply cannot ignore the 110% effort from these little rascals at the end of the greatest promotion of all time…

SHEET RACE YESSSSSS!!! That’s the kind of finish I dream about on a bi-nightly basis at minimum. Man that video rocks. Also shoutout the two dudes in the back taking the scenic route to the finish line. Quality content all around.

To June 3rd we go, the Nanners are 4-0 now and facing the Bacon for the third time on the summer. Dylan Kurahashi-Choy Foo, please activate super hero mode to keep this game tied…

NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA! There’s SportsCenter’s number one play of the night (literally, it was) and much more importantly the 2022 Splitsie Award Winner for Best Defensive Play of the summer! So nice, you’ve gotta see it twice!

Beyond insane! Guy nearly jumped out of Chatham County!

And for all you narks out there who say get a move on with this season recap Biko, TOO BAD, WE’VE GOT MORE FROM THIS ONE…

Once again, this team showed it was a really special group early on in the summer. Mando, Ty, and Justus. We’d hear a whole lot more from the three of them for the rest of the regular season and all through the playoff run.

Let’s jet on up to June 7th, because Mando’s got himself a nomination for a Splitsie…

That man ran a country mile and all he got was an out and a rude greeting from the centerfield wall for his troubles! Funny thing is, Armando wasn’t done…

Neither of these plays ended up on SportsCenter, but they should have! I thought singing the music might summon the Top Plays lords to come and usher this double play into their hallowed halls of athletic prowess, but alas my mythical quest failed. What can ya do. Good job catching baseballs that shouldn’t have been caught, Armando.

And a cherry on top of the Mando being a sicko in center sundae is Beau doing a Splitsie nominated walkup to the dish, one that has captivated Yankees nation since the Bombers drafted him in mid-July…

I don’t think I have to actually say this cause I’m sure everyone’s thinking it, but Vinny Rauso’s dyno impression is Oscar worthy. Honestly surprised Beau even approached him with how fierce that roar was.

To June 9th we go for the debut of a Splitsie nominated promotion, the already legendary Keep Your Job…

As well as Bobby McBride backflipping his way off the field…

And for good measure a Keep Your Job worthy wipeout from Davis Heller on a spooky slider from Max Bergmann…

Woof. Atta-boy Bergy.

Just a note on June 1oth: The Nanners won 9-7 in 13 innings in Macon over the Bacon. Third-year Banana, Nolan Daniel threw 3.2 scoreless innings of relief from the 9th into the 12th and Nick Foray got the final four outs, striking out the side in the bottom of the 13th. Easily a top 5 win of the summer.

Now to June 11th we go, and this just has to get in here for my dear pal Josh Talevski as there’s not much he loves more than the Rec Spec Boys…

 

And this one’s for me as there’s not much Biko enjoys more in life than watching Indiana hit triples…

Beautiful stuff.

How about a brief intermission from Stanley mashing baseballs for one of my favorite walkups to home plate of the summer…

@thesavbananas

Sometimes you need valet service at the plate… 🚖 #savannahbananas #baseball #fyp #viral #mlb #AmazonVirtualTryOn #ridindirty

♬ original sound – overlays ★

That’s a Splitsie nominee if I’ve ever seen one.

Back to your scheduled programming: Now what’s the only thing better than an Indy triple you ask…

I mean the captions just write themselves but another nomination for best of the year right here from our Marketing Queens. Also shoutout Indy for blasting the Bananas first homer at home this summer in the most exciting way possible.

Now let’s boogie on over to June 15th where Indy’s partner behind the dish, The Sherriff, Taylor Justus is gunning down potential base stealers at an alarming rate…

Justus is a bad, bad, bad man. He ended his season by throwing out the last six guys who tried to steal on him. That’s pretty unheard of.

I think it’s about time we talk about love. Love?! Why are we talking about Love?! Well I’ll tell you why, rhetorical voice in my head. Because I’m not sure I’ve ever met a team that’s loved each other quite like this one, and here’s one of the countless examples to support that claim…

@thesavbananas

Sometimes you just gotta hold your bro’s hands 😌🤝 #savannahbananas #prank #funny #viral #baseball #mlb #ItsGreatOutdoors

♬ FEEL THE GROOVE – Queens Road, Fabian Graetz

Brings a tear to at least one eye, maybe even two.

To the 17th we go, and it’s astonishing I’ve been able to bypass the legendary Reginald Horton content up until now. I can no longer be contained…

He’s quite simply the best person on the planet. Find me a brighter ray of sunshine in a human being and I’ll give you my life savings (I know this is impossible and therefore am not at all afraid to make this claim.)

Okay and while we’re at it how about two for the price of one on two fronts. Let’s jump to June 21st, get another electrifying “COME ONNNNN” and a sweet play from Jack Renwick at short all in one fell swoop…

This is the uncontainable energy that has powered the Nanners to back-to-back Pettit Cups. You can’t possibly hope to contain him. He’s “The Regend” for a reason folks.

Let’s scoot on over to June 23rd now as a Bryce Madron pinch-hit double leading off the top of the 9th in Macon sparks a 5-run rally to give the Bananas a 9-6 win improving them to 16-5 on the summer, clinching the first half and securing the first playoff spot in the league that comes with it.

The next night, Indy decided a good way to celebrate the playoff birth would be with his league-leading third triple of the summer…

I don’t know how I’m going to fill the void in my life where Indiana Stanley triples once resided, but I’m gonna need to do something drastic this offseason to quell not just the want, but the need to see more of these.

One thing that certainly will help, is watching this Livan Reinoso pinch-hit triple and Ty Jackson walk-off…

Oh yeah that’s the good stuff right there. That’s a video I can turn to in my darkest of “needing more Indy triples in my life” moments.

I think a little highlight video of the best moments of the Bananas first 21 games could do us all some good as well…

Ty’s the Confucius of Bananaland. That guy’s wisdom knows no bounds.

Now let’s take a quick moment to enjoy a little “Hey Baby” pregame out on the Party Plaza…

What a sight! It really never ceases to amaze me.

Oh yeah and then we had Jorge Masvidal as our Weigh-In representative, which was actually one of the coolest moments in Macon head coach Kevin Soine’s life as a die-hard UFC fan who got to square off with Jorge…

That’s Fan’s First right there, even for an opposing manager!

As we approach the end of June, I think now would be a good time to appreciate one of Bryson Bloomer’s five slick sliding catches this summer…

Smooth as silk from the second-year Nanner!

And six innings later we cranked up the difficulty, giving The Boomer a serious distraction heading his way…

Like buttah!

And a little earlier in this ballgame we had one of my favorite 10 seconds in Bananas history filmed…

I think I’ve watched this video well over 100 times. It’s captivating! One of my favorite things to do is pause it at different parts of DC’s belly flop. Always good for a giggle!

Now I’ve gotta include this next piece of content because it’s one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in my life and another great example of how Jestin Jones is simply built different…

That’s the kind of absolute mental fortitude you love to see in a baseball player. Jestin’s will to triumph is stronger than Atlas holding the world on his shoulders.

And then later that evening we had one of my favorite walkups of the summer, a Splitsie nominee of course…

I wasn’t quite sure what was happening but boy did I love it! Also shoutout Leighton for a huge save late in Jack’s journey to the dish.

Anddd two batters later Brody Wortham brings Jack and a couple more friends home as the Bananas finally figured out Ryan Schroeder in a BIG way…

That was a cathartic experience finally putting an ugly number up against a guy who had the Nanners number earlier in the summer.

As we cross into July I feel I must share this one as it’s one of the most beautiful and cinematic shots of a battle in the history of film (according to me)…

A masterpiece!

And here’s another piece of video that is just about as beautiful as it gets, especially Nick Clarno at the end…

@thesavbananas

Replying to @herself.milayah banana #savannahbananas #minions #gru #minionsriseofgru

♬ yeat x minions – keti

Clarno doing his minion impersonation is another one I’ve probably watched a few hundred times this summer if I were to give it a conservative guess.

Time to checkout another moment nominated for its clutch-ness at the prestigious Splitsie Awards…

That sparked a 7-run rally and once again was the Nanners getting to Ryan Schroeder big time, something they had failed to do over their first 12+ innings against him.

Here’s one more example of this two-out rally really getting out of hand for Florence…

Mama there goes that man again!

The Bananas would send eight guys (Drew Yniesta, Ty Jackson, Armando Becerra, Beau Brewer, Indiana Stanley, Nolan Daniel, Jared Donalson, and Carson Dorsey) to the All-Star game on July 10th, tied for second in the league with the Marlins who both trailed the Tobs (more from them later). The Bananas would lead the West to a 3-2 victory, collecting both the team’s RBI’s and scoring two of the runs to boot. Jared got the win with 2 scoreless innings of work and Nolan tossed a run-less frame as well. All the action was highlighted by Ty and his patented walk celebration…

Beau also picked up hitter of the game honors for driving in the winning run and Jared should have gotten pitcher of the game honors but it seemed like the powers that be wanted to spread the wealth and what can ya do about that.

A couple days later and St. Patty’s Day in July had snuck up on us! Here’s quite possibly a top 10 picture in Bananas history for the occasion

The incredibly sad part about this game was Drew Yniesta being hit in the face with a fastball in the first inning, which broke his nose and part of his cheek bone, ending his season. He was leading the team in runs and RBI’s at the time, and even after missing the last three weeks of the season he ended the summer tied for the league lead in doubles. It was a heartbreaking and scary moment, and a sad end to his legendary three-year career in Savannah. But luckily he was able to have a successful surgery and seems to be on the path to a solid recovery.

Amongst the sadness of the evening was the joy of Drew’s Lenore-Rhyne teammate Joshua “Juicebox” Lanham making his Bananas debut, as the dynamic starting pitcher would go 3 scoreless innings. Then with the Bananas already up big, The Boomer put the nail in the coffin for Holly Springs…

One more bright spot from the night, as it is every night in Bananaland, was Maceo getting after it in the first base coaches box…

@thesavbananas

If your first base coach doesn’t do this… tell them to step it up 😉 #savannahbananas #baseball #fypシ #dance #mlb #viral

♬ original sound – f69v_

Guy can move it and groove it like no other!

Let’s head on over to July 14th now where Livan was ready to hit the Bananas first OUT of the park home run of the summer…

I will never understand why pitchers point to the sky like their outfielder may have a chance to catch a ball hit well out of a stadium but wishful thinking I guess. On another note, Livan bombs are so much fun. I hope he gets a chance to keep hitting with the Dodgers instead of just pitching because I would like to see some more of these in life.

Another great moment from the 14th was DC and Ryan Kennedy going full secret service and preventing Bergmann from laying a finger on Bryce while he tried to get to home plate…

Everything about this is perfect. The casting, the fits, the form in both DC’s football tackle and Kennedy’s shield for Madron up to the dish. Just knocked it out of the park.

Let’s jump a couple more days ahead now for another still image that should be hanging in a museum of some kind or another…

As the Bananas got closer to the playoffs we had three of our guys yanked from the team by MLB and eight more drafted or signed from past teams (or earlier in the summer in the case of the insanely dirty Carson Dorsey)…

Our guys have started their affiliated careers and it’s so exciting to see them hopefully climb the ranks and join some more Bananas in the bigs!

Now another nominee for picture of the 2022 season…

Talk about a snuggle bus that I’d like to take a trip on!

Time to hop, skip, and jump over to July 24th where the Bananas had a perfect game being thrown against them by Matt Murphy through 6.1 innings and a no-hitter through 8, so naturally they had to employ Reggie to wake the bats up…

The Regend certainly had something to do with what happened in the bottom of the ninth, because down two runs Renwick was plunked and then Bloomer worked a walk to start the inning. They double stole and then Mando missed a walk-off homer by a few feet and had to settle for a sac fly. Then Bryce Madron notched the first hit of the game for the Bananas when it mattered most…

On the next pitch Bryce stole second, and on the pitch after that this happened…

Legendary stuff. No baserunners until the 7th and no hits until there was one out in the 9th. Another superb example of this team figuring out how to win a game it did not deserve to win.

Now if you’ll remember back on Opening Day we had our first mic’d up double of the summer. In game 46 we had our second…

Who else but Indy?!

Then Bryson brought Stanley home and Indy lost the mic but did a heck of a job on the recovery…

And another legendary no-context picture from Bananaland…

All of this led up to the Bananas third walk-off of the summer, although I have to say this didn’t quite have the drama of Ty or DR’s…

To the last game of the regular season we go!

It was the first annual Splitsie Awards, and unfortunately for KFC he made this dazzling play at third after we had already compiled the nominees and voting had closed for Defensive Play of the Year…

After completing the first ever awards show combined with a baseball game as far as we know, it was time for the playoffs!

Tyler Gillum somehow knew just the right words to fire the boys up for Game 1 of the Western Division Championship Series against the Bacon…

TURN ME UP!!!

Unfortunately for the Nanners, no pump speech could prepare them for the Bacon putting three runs on the board in the top of the first inning. Naturally, our boys were not at all shook by the small deficit, and after scoring a run in the first, Indy once again decided to do something crazy…

Absolutely banana pants bonkers stuff!

Then an inning later Ty nearly picked up his first ever Grayson Stadium home run but he would be content with a game-tying triple…

There just isn’t much like Grayson in the playoffs. The atmosphere is out of this world.

Just one inning later the Bananas would take their first lead of the postseason and wouldn’t trail in a game afterwards. The man who scored the first run of the game would drive in the fourth…

Another inning in the books and Brody would continue to add to his series MVP case…

After the 3-run top of the first, Jared Donalson settled in to toss six terrific innings and Ryan Kennedy would come in for the final three to nail down the 8-3 Game 1 win.

The fellas shipped off to Macon for Game 2 and five batters in were up 3-0. Then Brody secured his Series MVP campaign by leading off the fourth inning with a solo shot to left-center. A DR double, Pearce Howard single, Ty double, and Indy single put three more runs across and the rout was officially on.

Juicebox threw 3.1 innings with just one unearned run, Nolan allowed one run in 1.2 innings of work, and then Jestin and Bobby tossed 2 scoreless innings a piece to secure the 8-2 victory and the series sweep…

 

With the Wilson Tobs upsetting the Morehead City Marlins in the Eastern Division Championship, the Bananas got homefield advantage meaning they would ship up to Fleming Stadium for Game 1 and have Games 2 and 3 at home.

It was the first trip in franchise history to Wilson, North Carolina, and the boys didn’t wait long to jump out in front with Justus lining a base hit to center to score Ty and Indy in the second inning.

The Tobs tied it up in the bottom half but the Nanners jumped back out in front on a two-run, two-out double from Mando to bring home Brody and Taylor in the fourth.

Indy doubled in Ty in the seventh to make it 5-3 and then drove in DR in the 9th to make it 6-3. A KFC safety squeeze to score Bloomer and Indiana coming in on a passed ball made it 8-3.

The big man, Gavin Oswald gave up a couple runs in 1.2 innings of work, Zach Smith came in and allowed just one run across 2 innings on the bump and then Kennedy went 2.1 scoreless frames and Jestin threw a perfect final 3, striking out 6 to slam the door on Game 1.

Time to get rowdy for Game 2 in Savannah…

COME ONNNNNNNN!!!! Zack Breaux never ceases to amaze me with his insane editing skills. I’d honestly be shocked if there’s ever been a saucier video editor from the state of Louisiana. Certainly not one I know of and that should just about shut the door on that matter.

Of course it wouldn’t be a game with the Pettit Cup on the line without hearing from our amazing fans out in the world…

One of my favorite things we ever get to do right there. Shoutout to Ty’s mom who had what was in my humble opinion the greatest submission we’ve ever gotten for one of these. I submit the “YAHOOOO” woman at the end as my second favorite submission of all-time.

Once the ballgame was underway Donny threw a scoreless top of the first, Brody laced a double down the leftfield line on the first pitch he saw and a couple batters later DR gave the Bananas a lead they would never relinquish…

Pressure. Bursts. Pipes. It looks like a screaming line drive in the box, Doc!

Ty saw DR’s swinging bunt and raised him a bunt the old fashioned way for a two-out RBI single bringing in Meadows.

Then in the second inning Bloomer peppered frozen rope off the left field wall for a double and came in on a line-drive single up the middle from Mando.

With a 3-0 lead in the third, Ty laced a single to right and Indy worked a walk before stealing second, setting up KFC who put the game out of reach for all intensive purposes…

Pretty apropos for the Bananas season leader in RBI’s to pick up the two that felt like the nail in the coffin for the Tobs.

Donny Day was as glorious as ever, with Jared going seven shutout frames while striking out six. The only inning his offense didn’t score in was the fourth, and they had 10 runs on the board by the time Ty stepped into the box for his last plate appearance of the summer…

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?! I’ve seen enough now through my three years in Bananaland to make me a firm believer myself. Ty literally never put a ball out of Grayson in batting practice across the last two summers. You simply can’t make this stuff up.

Legendary two-year Banana, Dylan Cunningham was honored by the Grayson faithful after picking up two outs in the eighth. Bobby got the last out of the frame and then the first in the ninth before legendary three-year Banana, Nolan Daniel got his time to shine. NoNo put the finishing touches on another magical summer…

A banana-pile is one of the most beautiful sights in all the land. Back-to-back champs and three in six years. Naturally, the party was on…

And what an incredible party it was. After going 34-14 in the regular season the guys went 4-0 in the playoffs with 8-3, 8-2, 8-3, and 11-0 wins. That’s what the folks at Meriam-Webster would call “dominance”.

If you want to get one of these sweet limited edition championship shirts, the link is right here.

And if you’ve gotten to this point, congratulations!! You’ve made it through another ridiculously long Biko’s season recap! I’ve gotta get out of here before I hit my 5,000 word limit. Just know that I left out so many things I would have loved to include and I can’t imagine this being even one video or picture shorter.

Although our 2022 CPL campaign is complete, there is still plenty more madness ahead in Bananaland before the summer is through! We’ll have a Banana Ball game live on ESPN2 on August 19th at 7:00pm eastern. Then the ESPN+ Bananaland documentary will debut on ESPN2 directly after. It’s going to be a bonkers night. The next five games between the Bananas and Party Animals will be on ESPN+ after the 19th…

Keep your eyes peeled to Bananas social media for more updates on what the future holds and more celebrations of the miraculous season we just completed!

Thank you for being the greatest fans in the world and making everything we get to do so gosh darn incredible! Can’t wait for the next chapter to unfold. 5,021 words. Whoops. Good luck cutting this down, Kara!

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