Savannah Sizzles Spartanburgers Securing Second Straight Shutout; Season’s Seventh

Written by Biko Skalla:


No matter what people try to tell you, winning in fact does not get old. The Bananas took down the Spartanburgers 5-0, for their 2nd straight shutout, to improve to a rather decent 22-3 on the season.

Tyler, I Pick on Coach Fox so Much Because His Son Can Crawl Before Mine, Gillum, and Corey, I Take Full Responsibility for the Bananas Having the Greatest Pitching Staff in CPL History, Pye, turned to Joe, “I’M NOT F$%&#G LEAVING,” Miller, on the mound.

Joe came into the night 4 strikeouts behind Kyle, Just Let Me Lead the League Joe it’s My Last Summer Here, Luigs, for the CPL lead, and tossed 5 scoreless innings while striking out 6 to take a 40-38 K advantage over his teammate. Mr. Ivy League (Eduardo had the night off so no chance at a title defense for him), loaded the bases for fun with 3 straight 2-out walks in the 3rd inning before striking out Dayan, I Wish I Got to go to the Bananas and Livan Was on This Team, Reinoso, to get out of the jam. A leadoff double in the 5th was the only hit off Mean Joe, who let out a triumphant roar when he recorded his 6th strikeout of the evening to strand the runner on 3rd base and secure the CPL Pitching Line of the Night.

Joe’s 40 strikeouts on the summer have come in 24.2 innings tossed with only 4 earned runs for a crispy 1.46 ERA. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.

The Nanners got on the board in the top of the 3rd with singles from Drew, You Won’t Like Me When I’m Hot, Yniesta, and Ty, I Don’t Think the Spartanburg Fans Fully Appreciated Me Humping the Ground Tonight, Jackson, and then with 2 outs Livan, Boy Am I Happy I’m the Twin Who Got Sent to Savannah, Reinoso, drove in Drew.

After Joe stranded the tying run on 3rd in the bottom of the 5th inning, the Bananas did what they’ve been doing all season long and made their opponent pay for missed opportunities. Tristan, It’s so Flat You Can See Your Dog Runaway for Miles in My Part of Canada, Peters, worked a 1-out walk and Zane, My Grandma Hit Biko with the Greatest Burn of His Entire Life, Denton, tattooed an RBI double into the right-center field gap. After a groundout to short, Nick, I Can’t Believe I Stung the Ball and it Wasn’t Caught, Clarno, laced a single to left to bring home Zane. Clarno took 2nd on an overthrow of home on his single setting up Drew for another 2-out RBI single. Yniesta then stole 2nd setting up Turner, The Oprah of 2-out RBI Singles, Pruitt, who slapped another single through the infield making it back to back to back, (also belly to belly to belly), 2-out singles to give the Nanners a 5-0 lead.

Obviously that is all the boys would need, as Quinn, It May Look Like I’m Signaling for a Slider Every Pitch but That’s Actually Not the Case, Mason, tossed 2 scoreless frames while striking out 3 and was followed by Matthew, “No barrels for you!”, Steidl, who gave up 3 singles (a swinging bunt, a broken bat infield single, and a bloop that barely dunked into the outfield), but of course didn’t allow a run as he struck out 4 to nail down the squad’s 2nd straight shutout and league-high 7th of the season (for reference 6 teams have none, 6 teams have 1, the Tobs have 2 and the Sharks have 3). Yes that was the longest sentence I’ve written in my entire life, and yes I am quite proud it.

So long story short, Miller, Mason, and Steidl combined for a 13 strikeout shutout, and the offense was powered by a Drew Yniesta 2-3, 1 walk, 1 RBI, 2 run scored, and 1 stolen base night.

And the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that was the Nanners 22nd win in 25 games played was the player meal the Spartanburgers supplied. We’re talking pot roast, turkey and gravy, ham, mashed potatoes, mac n’ cheese, and 3 different pies. All the main courses were piping hot. It was glorious. All in all, and I say this with full appreciation of plenty of super tasty meals I’ve had in Savannah, Macon, and Saugerties, (yes that’s shade at you Lexington County and Florence), this was easily the greatest player meal in my illustrious broadcasting career. And don’t just take my word for it, hear what the 16-year legend of Historic Grayson Stadium had to say about it.

“The food was bussin,’” Bananas assistant coach Reginald Horton said.

Couldn’t have described it any better myself.

The Bananas return home on Saturday to dabble in America’s pastime, Banana Ball, against the man, the myth, the legend, Marvin Speaks and his Catawba Valley Stars. Pregame is at 6:30, first pitch is 7:00, and it will almost definitely be madness from start to finish. Can’t wait for it!

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